The Top 10 Reasons
1. He was sick of Paul's frequent
Dusty - "Paul, I DO NOT SWING THAT WAY!"
Paul (sad look) - "Oh come on sugar patootie. Please?"
Dusty - "CHRIST ON
A FUCKING CRACKER!!"
Paul - "Is that a yes?"
Paul - (slinks up sexily to Dusty) - "You know you want
Dusty (backs away) - "Paul...you're scaring me..."
Paul (grabs a feather boa and wraps it around Dusty's neck)
- "That's the idea, cookie sweetums."
Benji (walking in) - "Hey gu....What the fuck?!"
(Dusty sighs again)
- "It's not what it looks like!!"
Benji (rolling his eyes) - "Sureeee."
2. Benji's "Oh-I'm-So-Punk-Rock" attitude was going too far.
Benji - "Hey Dusty, do you think I should pierce my eyebrow again? Do you think it'll make me look more punk?"
(sighing) - "Why don't you refer to your handbook?"
(Benji's face lights up) - "OF COURSE! That book has all the answers!"
(muttering) - "Sureeee it does...."
Benji - "What'd ya say, Dust?"
Dusty - "Don't ever call me Dust."
Benji - "Why
Dusty - "Oh for the love of Christ..."
3. He was sick of Joel's continued "ghetto-wannabe" attitude.
Joel - "Yo, wassup my homie Dusty?!"
Dusty - ".....What's with the Ebonics?"
Joel - "Yo, don't you know I is black?!"
- "You're about as black as vanilla ice cream."
Joel (angry) - "Dat's fucking crazy, yo! I got's my bandanna and my ghetto
homies, of course I is black!"
Dusty - "You haven't been taking your medication, have you?"
Joel - "I ain't on any fucking
medication, yo! This nigga doesn't need no fucking meds!"Dusty (muttering) - "You sure about that?"
Joel - "What'd ya's
say, my homefry?!"
Dusty - "Homefry? You're starting to scare me, Joel."
Joel - "Scared, yo?! Why the hell's are you's
Dusty - "......"
4. He was sick of being threatened constantly by Aaron
(telephone rings, Dusty picks it up)
Dusty - "Hello?"
Aaron (horribly tries to disguise his voice) - "I know what
you did last summer..."
Dusty - "What the hell?! Who is this?!"
Aaron - "I shall avenge the job I left!"
".....Aaron, is that you?"
Aaron - "DAMMIT, I HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED!!"
Dusty - "Hey, whatever happened to you?"
- "Oh, I live on the streets now. My scooter takes me everywhere!"
Dusty - "I...um...I'm gonna go now....You're starting
to freak me out..."
5. Billy's drug and not eating problems were getting worse.
Dusty (looks at Billy closely) - "Did you eat today?"
Billy (smiling goofy) - "Yeah! I had an altoid and I am soooo
Dusty - "....."
(there's a violent knock on the door and someone is screaming Billy's name)
scared) - "I'm not here."
(Billy hides in a closet)
Billy - "Miranda! So that's where you went! Awww, you're so cute..."
- "...this band is fucked up."
6. Benji's binge eating started to affect things whenever the band went out.
Benji - "Yeah, I'll have a double cheeseburger, a small pizza, a large french fry, and one large order of nachos."
- "Benj, I'm surprised you haven't dropped dead from a heart attack."
Benji - "Hey, a man's gotta eat!"
Joel - "Yo,
Dusty's right my homiewood! Word!"
Paul - "Yes, Benji, my tootsie pop is quite right."
Billy - "....I need my daily
Dusty - "Billy, you are not having any more crack, you understand me? And Paul, I AM NOT YOUR TOOTSIE POP!"
whole restuarant stares at them and Dusty smacks his head on the wall)
Benji - "I'm hungry, and the food's here, so I'm
going to eat." (Dusty sighs)
7. Benji's Sid Vicious looks were getting more frequently annoying.
Dusty - "Hey Benj, what's up with the whole Sid Vicious look?"
Benji - "Don't you know that my biological father is
Dusty - "Benj, Sid died in 1978."
Benji - "And your point is?"
Dusty - "You were born in 1979."
face is blank)
Dusty (sighs) - "There's no fucking way you could be Sid's son. You and Joel are twins for that matter,
and Joel keeps on saying his father is Tupac, which is fucking ridiculous...and..."
(Dusty stops when he realizes Benji
is leafing through his "Sid Vicious" biography.
Benji (stops at a page that's blank except for a few Benji-esque scribbles
and shows it to Dusty) - "See! I'm Sid's son! It says so right there!"
Dusty - "That's your handwriting Benji."
- "No it isn't!"
Dusty - "Billy's been giving you some of his crack again, hasn't he?"
8. He was sick and tired of being ignored by some of GC's fans.
Benji - "Fan mail's here!"
Dusty - "Anything for me?"
Benji (leafs through envelopes) - "Let's see...me, me, me,
Joel, me, me, Paul, Billy, me, Joel, Joel, Joel, Paul, Paul, me, me, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Joel, Joel, me, me, me, me
and Dusty. Ya got one Dust-man."
Dusty - "Don't call me that."
(Dusty yanks the envelope from Benji's fingers and opens
Dusty (reading aloud) - "Dear Dusty. You are a sucky drummer. Aaron was so much better. And much cuter than you. You
are very ugly. More ugly than Billy's hamsters. I have been watching you. I will kill you. Or I will hire a hit-man. Sincerely,
Billy - "Hey, my hamsters are not ugly!!"
(Dusty sighs and leaves the room)
9. Billy's "Hamster Porn" photo shoots were starting to become rather frightening.
Billy (takes pictures) - "Yes, Mary Jane, yes! Perfect, perfect!"
(Dusty walks in)
Dusty - "...Holy...shit..."
- "Dusty, you're scaring Mary Jane!"
Dusty - "I think you need to stop buying hamsters."
Billy - "You are not going
to deprive me of my children!"
Dusty - "....."
10. Finally, he was just sick of Steve's rantings.
Steve - "Benji! You need to lose 20 pounds!"
Benji - "Dude, I don't need to lose weight!"
Steve - "Yes, you do. Statistics
show that fans are disapproving of your weight. Paul, you've got to stop stalking Billie Joe. He's quite scared of you."
- "Billie Joe's s-scared of me?"
(Paul sniffs, and holds back tears)
Steve - "Yes. Billy, you are going to eat more
and you need to lay off the crack or I will kick you out of this band."
Joel - "YO, that's me and Benji's job!"
- "Ah, Joel. Lay off the Ebonics, all right? You're not black. You have never been black. Deal with it."
(Joel shuts up)
- "And last but not least, Dusty. Ratings show some GC fans don't like you and want Aaron back. So we're going to have you
dress up in an Aaron suit."
Dusty - "Whaaat?!?"
Steve - "You heard me, bitch."
Dusty (sighs) - "Sorry, oh master
of the universe."
Steve - "Good. Now get your asses out of my sight."